*Post updated on March 25, 2024

Festivals of the musical variety draw people from far and wide each and every summer to locations such as Indio, California (Coachella); Manchester, Tennessee (Bonnaroo); and Chicago (Lollapalooza). For a time, one festival also drew tens of thousands to the capital city of the first state: Dover, Delaware. Firefly Music Festival hasn’t been held since 2022, but when it was rockin’ and rollin’, it was one of the premiere alternative/rock/pop extravaganzas out there.

When I attended Firefly in summer 2016, the headliners included the likes of Mumford & Sons, Kings of Leon, Florence & the Machine, and Deadmau5. There was also an eclectic mix down ballot, including appearances from A$AP Rocky, Chvrches, Of Monsters and Men, Tame Impala, M83, and — get ready for a blast from the past — Fetty Wap. All together, the experience was a blast.

Not so great, though, were the ways in which we prepared (or, more accurately, didn’t prepare) for a full-on music festival experience. Thus, for your general amusement, and maybe for a lesson or two, here are 11 things we did that you should NOT do if attending a summer music festival this year:

1. Don't run out of gas on the way there

On the way to Firefly, I learned a very valuable lesson: you cannot always trust your vehicle's gas gauge. The Chrysler Sebring we drove out to Delaware got good gas mileage, sure, but probably not good enough to get us all the way across Pennsylvania and through a good chunk of Maryland without refueling. Keep track of your miles, friends, lest a busted fuel gauge leave you high and dry on a country road.

2. Don't pack only Shock Tops and PB&Js

Talk about being unprepared for camping. When all you have is a cooler full of PB&J ingredients and cans of Belgian-style wheat ale, you're liable to go mad. And not Lewis Carroll/Alice in Wonderland/Johnny Depp mad, but like, upset-with-yourself-that-you-didn't-think-this-out-in-advance mad.

3. Don't spill someone else's beer

An especially good way to avoid this is by not errantly throwing a volleyball into a crowd while playing giant beer pong. The individual you unwittingly turn into a target will undoubtedly spill their adult beverage and will likely direct their rage at you — unless you immediately offer to buy them another drink.

4. Don't look too much into your high-AF campsite neighbors' insights on the universe

"Yeah man, but what really constitutes a dwelling anyway? Does it have to have four walls? A roof? Can we really call a tree house a 'house'? Or like what's the deal with that?"

5. Don't skip a show to go to the casino and win $160

Actually, just kidding. You can totally do this.

6. Don't spend $26 on a plastic souvenir mug

Unless you are a collector of plastic souvenir mugs, I cannot recommend this one. And don't worry — this is one of the only things on this list I didn't actually do. I'm not that much of sucker.

7. Don't forget a towel/extra clothes/your portable phone charger

Because there had to be at least one practical thing on this list.

8. Don't wear a Ramones T-shirt if you hardly know any of their songs

Someone who is actually a fan of the Ramones will ask you what your favorite album is and you will feel shame equivalent to the heat of a thousand suns wash over you as you explain that you don't really know much of their music and are only wearing the shirt because your older sister gave it to you.

9. Don't take a video with your cell phone while standing next to a mosh pit

Those things get wild and before you know it, you may have a new crack in your phone screen.

10. Don't get blackout drunk, lose your friend and miss the best set of the night

This one's self-explanatory.

11. Don't leave halfway through blink-182's set and drive 10 hours straight through the night with the aid of caffeine pills

Well, that got pretty specific. True story, though. Due to my traveling companion's work schedule, we had to book it on the last night of the festival, and I handled a majority of the driving duties.

-LTH